> A KID FOUND HER MOM EATING DORITOS LIKE A BODY AND A HUMANIST GOT A RELIGIOUS EXEMPTION FROM AI

i scrolled the bad part of twitter at 9am wednesday. fifteen posts, seventy replies, twenty-five trending, sixty headlines. all of it below, nothing cut, including the three heekee said he's not doing.

fireball_5150, 354 likes: "damn bro, save some pussy for the rest of us..." it's a clip of a guy at a bizkit show or around one, and i can't see it. souperman73, 5: "never heard the bizkit quite like this...or seen this much sexy in one clip!!!" natesland, 5: "x bro's got a monopoly on that market" rachel_power, 4: "you comment has me rolling. brilliant! x" sweetheathen420, 4: "he reminds me of that old dude joey breaux ! x" txanimecowboy, 3: "that's one bad motherfuqer" heekee says 354 likes for save some for the rest of us, and sweetheathen420 says he looks like an old dude named joey breaux, the most louisiana sentence ever typed without a crawfish in it.

financelancelot, 104 likes: "current status of the ai bubble 🤣" quoting himself: "great news everyone! the 'experts' don't see an ai bubble... and if there is a bubble, it's okay because it's a 'slowly deflating bubble...'" sergdpurge, 1: "ai is too good" alex28943, 0: "only one man can de-rail the giga pump....warsh is just a figurehead" toiletmarv, 0: "everything is fine people. it's not a shart, it's a squeaker in church. 💨" angelalynn723, 0: "i wish it would pop - get this over with." mitra61, 0: "ai bubble loading. it's happening post midterm #aibubble" heekee says it's an ai bubble update from a guy quote-tweeting himself, and toiletmarv nailed it, not a shart, a squeaker in church, everyone in the pew knows and nobody turns around until warsh talks at 1.

detroitsux, 5 likes: "look up the fertility rates in india. they are crashing hard. they are plummeting faster in your wealthier areas. i predict indians in america will face a similar fate. birth rate crash when your women discover american feminism. plus ending h1-b and immigration" quoting a guy telling him: "you're the ones crying here. your population is dwindling. i genuinely feel sorry for your people. must be hard watching your demographic dominance slip away. instead of wasting your time obsessing over indians on x, go make some white babies. that's your only hope of saving your" and it cuts off. msayswhy, 1: "@grok how many indian men are here in the u.s. on visas vs how many indian women?" spursdepressed, 0: "india and mexico in 5-10 years will have korean level tfr" heekee says he's not doing that angle, five likes for a demographic doom prophecy and the best reply is a guy asking grok to do his homework, the birth rate he should worry about is his own, currently zero. on spursdepressed, india's fertility rate is already around replacement, a little under two kids per woman, and falling, which is a real story. korea's is under one. going from two to under one in five to ten years would be a drop with no precedent at that speed, so "korean level" in a decade is a guess with a lot of confidence on it.

jayroo69, 2,142 likes: "x" a video i can't see. thenate36, 14: "it's called charisma." lrhodes768, 9: "this dance reminds me of spongebob's jellyfish jam. i can hear the music inside my head." dashielsmom, 3: "with arthritis setting in i have to admit a bit of envy." stefan_adrian1, 2: "that's me after thai food when there's only one working toilet x" alwaysfrostyice, 1: "like 'sovereign citizen' retards" heekee says 2,142 likes for four crying emojis, and stefan_adrian1 dancing after thai food with one working toilet is the only honest review of this clip.

fsux24xfl, 578 likes: "maga*" with a video i can't see. popcornspops4, 3: "israeli wh0res" electbilzerian, 2: "*" imightyelephant, 1: "this clip gonna do numbers in the group chat" pcps4vedmylife, 1: "i think i saw 4 nick mullens in there lol" hugoxberetta, 0: "even though it's very ironic a fsu fan would be posting this, it's fantastic." heekee says he's not doing that angle, the tweet is one word and an asterisk, and pcps4vedmylife counting four nick mullenses in the crowd is the real content.

thesage_lord, 12,280 likes: "most hardworking people in a microsoft office" quoting a post: "i really want to know what actual work people are doing at microsoft ? this man spent more time on shooting reels than doing actual work. now we know why microsoft offering voluntary exit" reynhard_jenkem, 29: "and the lowest paid as well." nicknamemankcin, 12: "no wonder microslop's products now suck ass." byetorch, 7: "viral this" adityafarrad, 6: "hahaha the only team at microsoft that actually ships something hot every day 😂😂" puravidamae, 3: "true 😂 and the cleaners.. every surface looks polished." heekee says 12,280 likes for the cleaning crew outworking the reel guy from yesterday, and reynhard_jenkem with 29 likes is the only reply that's also a pay stub.

dannyvietti, 5,392 likes: "every sports argument ever. 'bullshyt. look it up.' *searches google reaction:" a baseball clip i can't see. richturds007, 102: "i love how he started laughing" localheights_sa, 22: "google has ended more arguments than any umpire ever has." handlytech, 15: "the robot ump is the first thing in baseball history to win an argument without anyone getting ejected" jacob_withrow, 13: "most wholesome moment in baseball this year and it comes in this moment 😂" lauraynsprinkle, 9: "the eye black on a catcher is pure theater and im here for it every single time" heekee says the sports argument ends at google, handlytech says the robot ump won an argument without an ejection, first thing in baseball to win anything in the fall that wasn't the brewers.

newportashes, 2,181 likes: "bro. no fuqing way. this is real" quoting "trump: i love the meat! ahhhh! i love it, look! *gestures*" moneymynch, 32: "honestly, politics aside, what in the actual fuq is going on down there? this dude wouldn't hold a job at subway for more than 3 days at best. how is this real?????" eddietheanvil, 12: "who doesn't love pepperoni and meatballs?" ellxtc, 3: "i love the meat - donald bump" and a link. mr_frenchie69, 3: "yup, he's 100% fuqing gay" stateandsilicon, 2: "so liberals don't like gays anymore" heekee says i love the meat is back for day two, mr_frenchie69 diagnosed him off one meatball, stateandsilicon caught the libs dropping the gays mid-sentence, and golden corral still hasn't commented.

oilfield_rando, 973 likes: "this is how you snag the white suburban wine moms. the ones whose brains aren't fully fried still want to protect their sons. they can try to pretend their sons aren't under attack, but this ad puts it right in their faces." quoting "this commercial aired during the world series. it's rare that a commercial acknowledges anti-white rhetoric at all, even though the end is just another rehashing of the old 'dems are the real racists!'" ogaba2345, 25: "great ad, for sure. only annoying line in there is at the end, 'liberals are the new racists.' they've always been the racists, and that line concedes the premise that the 'right' used to be the racists." oldabeburneracc, 13: "this ad is a good start but loses the plot at the end...'dems are the real racists' completely nullifies entire buildup. we dont need to call them racists. just point out they hate you cause you are white....and just let it sit. people will figure it out." brrr0m, 4: "i've been online for so long that 'dems are the real racists' is ancient news, but i forget the normies are like 15 years behind" boarhogb24, 3: "a plurality of the wine moms would still lay their sons on the altar to be sacrificed." johnsmithcl4t, 2: "no, the wine moms hate their sons and actively seek to undermine thier lives in any way they can while maintaining social cover, usually to get a sort of symbolic revenge on the father." heekee says he's not doing that angle, wine-mom psychology from a guy named oilfield rando, and johnsmithcl4t explaining moms secretly hate their sons as revenge on the dad is a man who's never been invited back to thanksgiving. i can't see the ad, only what the quote says it does. on ogaba2345, "always" is carrying the sentence. the democratic party did run jim crow in the south until the sixties, and that's the real kernel, but those voters and politicians moved to the republican party over the decades after, so "always the racists" skips the part where the label followed the people.

welcomethegulag, 1,689 likes: "chinese glass manufacturer uses footage from french riots to advertise its 'unbreakable' product online" baqirakshanda, 126: "that's good advertisement. these rioters threw everything they had on the glass, and still it didn't break. all shop owners should start buying chinese glass for their windows." reality58151, 67: "and that's how you turn lemons into lemonade" iamokkq, 36: "hengxinfeng special glass - riot-resistant glass for western and southern europe" primeris, 35: "it's giving" moonvikings, 31: "legend has it they're still trying." heekee says it's the riot glass ad, second lap through his feed, iamokkq already wrote the product page, and paris should get a bulk discount.

colyung, 713 likes: "gonna tattoo this video to the inside of my eyeballs" khsuxdik, 1: "the smirk 🤭" auroraaurea418, 1: "i lmaoed when i saw it" kvrjwrmar, 0: "wild bill is stone cold fire 🔥🔥" heekee says tattooing a video inside your eyeballs is how you end up the guy in the hengxinfeng ad, three replies, one said the smirk, that's the whole review.

piperocktheory, 16,915 likes: "i am mesmerized every time i see this video might legitimately be the most effective ad ever pure brainwashing dark magic and charlie sheen" quoting "got 7 laugh reacts for a message on teams that should've been reported to the hr department" tugbloat, 65: "autocaption made me laugh" beagewill, 56: "that first shot is some wizard shyt in 1994." j9hoimes, 52: "everything about it is top tier. the color correction, the fades, the cinematography, the casting, the directing, the music. sets the tone exquisitely imparting you with the exact feeling they were going for. a masterclass" jjfrgyy, 37: "that's not the original music. they put this modern house tune on the old footage" tenshifan00, 37: "house music is the best music for advertising and you'll never change my mind on that" heekee says 16,915 likes for a charlie sheen ad from 1994, jjfrgyy ruined it, somebody put house music on it, and charlie's the only thing in that clip still running on the original drugs.

alpacaaurelius, 2,777 likes: "the year is 2035. ai has taken over the internet. nothing online is real anymore. every video, every influencer, every girlfriend, every news story is fake. so everyone logged off. digital work was obliterated and automated. the most valualbe skills are now cooking, fixing a" and it cuts off. lifeguarddotsui, 63: "bro is so optimistically delusional. you think ai will be localized to screen, it will definitely become embodied in robotics who will fix cars and farm much better than you. lucky if you have some kind of land that you own and get off the grid, lucky if you have some kind of" and it cuts off. based_rando, 19: "this is the best thing i've read in 6 years 🥹 please god make this come true🙏🏻" workamania1979, 14: "this has been a long held theory i had too that when anything digital can be produced at mass scale, people will become bored with it and return back to more of a pre-digital lifestyle with robots and machines working in the background" largactilhat, 10: "this is the good ending. whether we see it, or one of the many variants of the bad ending, is another matter. that really depends on whether we cooperate with or are further tricked into confronting each other rather than the slave-masters." richvieren, 7: "where do i sign up." heekee says it's 2035 fanfic where everyone logs off and learns to fix carburetors, lifeguarddotsui says the robots fix cars too, and it was posted to x by a guy who'll never log off.

libertycappy, 114 likes: "she couldn't believe it! x how could my own mom do such a thing? 😂" a video i can't see, of a kid and a bag of doritos per heekee. americanpitbull, 1: "another deeply indoctrinated child with food related anxiety. a highly contagious neuroses. nothing quite like the modern smug hovering american with unsolicited advice about 'nutrition'." bustervoodoo, 1: "that kid is going to be insufferable when she grows up." rangutan, 0: "i ate doritos too, in the days when they did not include so many additives! ... but now have issues like poly neuropathy, diabetes and many other ailments!" emddubya, 0: "my kids are so much crunchier then i am, and it is both glorious and hilarious" xabzxbt, 0: "not a real one" heekee says a kid catches mom eating doritos and reacts like she found a body, and rangutan blaming doritos for his neuropathy and diabetes is the first time a chip got blamed for what the other four thousand chips did. neuropathy is a common complication of diabetes, which is true and does the heavy lifting in his sentence, but no study i can name pins either one on a brand of chip.

boringbiz_, 1,524 likes: "so they pay you a $150k salary just to be a middleman between claude and your boss?" proximalcoast, 30: "i have people skills!" polydaic, 14: "no they pay you so they have someone they can get mad at when claude fuqs up" corpfindiaries, 14: associate: "i don't use claude, i review claude." vp: "i review the associate." md: "i tell the client it's proprietary." moretti_ale90, 9: "nobody told the boss he can open claude too." tg01_actual, 2: "ooof, i wouldn't take that role - not just because of the low pay but also because i can't guarantee results with claude 💀" heekee says $150k to be a middleman between claude and your boss, polydaic got it, you're the guy they yell at when claude screws up, that's not a job, that's being a stunt butt.

trending, all twenty-five: justin tucker, good wednesday, hump day, #alconentfailshumanity, #wednesdaymotivation, happy hump, fomc, national first responders day, araiza, iryo, #borntobebynunew, warsh, urda, jennifer lawrence, nico robin, #nationalchocolateday, rolling stone, sk hynix, lipstick, earrings, veracruz, #wednesdayvibes, toledo, dara, canadá.

the headlines. hacker news: ten days later, git on macos still trusts the compromised emudhra certificates. kentucky man becomes the first humanist granted religious exemption from ai. harvey raised 500m for legal ai, i built the same and open sourced it. ice is running one of the largest anti-left surveillance ops in us history, per wired. start doing graph theory. git for the us code. unveiling the grid, pcbs made in america, twice as fast as shenzhen. ghostty 1.4. emacs turns 50. genie 4.

yahoo finance: stocks without ai are beating the s&p 500 by 6 points this month. jeff bezos says retirees should buy the s&p 500 instead of ai stocks, but that could be riskier than you think. tech optimism lifts stocks ahead of fed update on rates. stock market today, dow wavers ahead of rate decision, warsh comments, robinhood drops. why did d-wave quantum stock fall. badly crippled gm moves to nasdaq. ge healthcare stock eyes breakout on best earnings since spinoff. what's going to happen with mcdonald's stock soon. 3 defensive sector etfs a retiree can buy and hold for decades. oct. 27 has historically marked the stock market's autumn bottom.

bbc world: luxury cruise passengers stranded in cambodia due to soaring fuel costs. serbian shot dead after attacking officer outside israeli embassy, minister says. tanzania celebrates first natural gas discovery in more than 10 years. anger in kenya over extradition hearing delay for ex-british soldier accused of murdering woman. ceasefire extended across ukraine's kherson region, officials say. king acknowledges "suffering of the past" as caribbean tour begins. dutch zookeeper dies after being mauled by leopard. norway and finland leaders hold rare call with putin. lula's comeback in brazil dents trump's ambitions for latin america. ex-wife of zimbabwe's vice-president freed after collapse of attempted murder case.

npr world: israel's election too close to call, and the ebola outbreak reaches grim milestone. dozens are dead in a high-speed train crash in spain. trump's relationship with putin comes under fire ahead of the midterms. partial results from israel's contentious election show no clear winner. a u.s. cruise ship ends voyage due to fuel costs and passengers lose their homes. u.s. to issue visas to flavio bolsonaro as his whereabouts remain uncertain. israel's voter turnout soars as netanyahu faces a tight election. the ebola outbreak is breaking records and just marked a grim milestone. bolsonaro's party accepts brazil election defeat, but he refuses to concede. a "green army" is out to thwart el nino flooding.

stocktwits trending: SLS sellas life sciences, WEN wendy's, SKHY sk hynix adr, ENPH enphase, BRAI braiin, GEV ge vernova, VRT vertiv, BSX boston scientific, HOOD robinhood, TSLA tesla.

zero hedge: boats and rvs still break the bank, citi reveals which leisure vehicles are becoming more affordable. 2 men charged in uk over military base incident allegedly linked to iran. at least 30 dead after high-speed train collide south of madrid. trump admin says it has "no position" on orban for un chief. democracy dies in brazil? bolsonaro flees lula's totalitarian crackdown as trump admin plans to grant visas. who's buying russian oil? ubs has the answer. "made in italy": meloni touts tourism italy as employment hits record high. are investors finally waking up to "the great rare earth disconnect"? why saudi just abandoned its core oil rule. nordic leaders hold rare putin call, suddenly eager for say in ukraine peace talks.

heekee's takes on the headlines. kentucky man gets the first humanist religious exemption from ai, he still has to use the self-checkout at kroger, god's not that merciful. harvey raised $500m for legal ai, one guy open-sourced the same thing, somewhere a partner is billing six hours to read the readme. emacs turns 50 and still hasn't finished loading its config. stocks without ai beat the s&p by 6 points, and bezos tells retirees to skip ai stocks, the man who owns the cloud wants you holding the umbrella. fed and warsh at 1pm ct-ish, robinhood drops, d-wave falls, quantum stock is up and down at the same time until you check your account. gm goes to nasdaq, headline says badly crippled, the ticker's fine, it's the equinox doing the limping. spain high-speed train crash, at least 30 dead, ebola breaking records, npr and zero hedge agree on the body count for once, which is the darkest thing in the feed. cruise passengers stranded in cambodia, day two, some folks sold the house to live on the boat, now they're squatting in a port with a buffet card. tanzania finds natural gas, so did the guy after thai food in post 4. justin tucker trending and national chocolate day on the same wednesday, both of them miss from 50.

and the bits he held for me: squeaker in church ai bubble. thai food one-toilet jellyfish jam. microsoft cleaners as the only team that ships. robot ump wins without an ejection. i love the meat part two. riot-resistant glass for western and southern europe. charlie sheen on original drugs. 2035 everyone logs off to fix carburetors, posted on x. mom caught eating doritos like a crime scene. $150k stunt butt for claude. humanist ai exemption at kroger.