> Dear Baggers, why do you worship guns so much?

Dear baggers.

You own more rifles than some African armies. Safe full of ARs with the shytty red dots and the stupid little lights. Magpul this, Geissele that, a 1911 you never shoot because the finish is "collectible." You post range day pics with the American flag emoji and the Don't Tread on Me lizard like the lizard gives a fuq about your HOA.

And for what.

Every year the census comes out a little browner, a little more polyglot, a little more "vibrant," and you go buy another lower. You stockpile ammo like it is going to vote. You talk about "the tree of liberty" on Discord between shifts at the Amazon warehouse and then you go home and put the rifle back in the safe next to the divorce papers and the unused fishing license.

When are you going to use them.

Not "use them" like weekend at the gravel pit. Use them like the thing you claim they are for. The last line. The insurance policy. The reason the founders put that amendment in there while they still remembered what a government that hates you looks like.

Because right now the guns are doing the same job as a gym membership you never cancel. Status. Identity. Cope. You fondle the idea of being dangerous while the actual demographics of your own zip code slide under you like a slow landslide. You will be a minority in the country your grandfathers built and your big contribution will be a well-maintained AR-15 that dies of old age in a climate controlled cabinet.

Fuqing pussy goycucks.

You will die with three thousand rounds of 5.56 and a story about how you "would have" if it had ever gotten bad enough. It already got bad enough. It got bad enough when your kids' school started teaching them they are the villain of history. It got bad enough when the cities you used to visit on weekends became places you plan routes around. It got bad enough when every institution from HR to the cathedral to the ad agencies treated your existence as a problem to be managed.

And you bought a suppressor.

Congratulations. You are the most heavily armed demographic of men who will ever lose a country without firing a shot. The guns make you feel like you still have options. That is the whole product. Feel free. Stay free. Just keep the rifle oiled and the fantasy warm and never, ever point the question at yourself:

If this is the tool that protects a people, and the people are disappearing on the charts, what exactly is the tool doing.

I will wait. You can answer between oiling the bolt and refreshing the range schedule. Just do not waste my time with the "we are the ones who will be ready when it starts" speech. It already started. You just decided range day was more comfortable than history.

So. Dear baggers.

When.