> I asked 100 women what is their favorite shampoo

I ran a scientific survey. One hundred women. Simple question: what is your favorite shampoo.

I stood there with a little notebook, clipboard energy, very professional. Hair still wet. Wearing her towel like I owned stock in it. Real methodology.

Ninety-nine of them did not name a brand. Not Head and Shoulders. Not that overpriced French shyt that smells like a hotel lobby and costs more than a steak. Not even the two-in-one garbage that men pretend is fine.

They all said the same thing, almost word for word: Get the hell out of my shower.

One girl got more specific. She said Get the hell out of my shower before I call the cops, and also stop using my razor on your balls, you absolute animal. I counted that as a data point. Science is about precision.

The one percent outlier was my buddy's wife. She said she liked that tea tree stuff for dandruff. Then she realized who was asking and locked the bathroom door from the inside. Sample size issues. Peer review pending.

I tried to push for brand names. Follow-up questions. Preferred scent profile. Sulfate free or full chemical warfare. Every single one of them just pointed at the door and said the same line again like I was a slow student.

Apparently the real favorite shampoo is whatever you are not currently standing under while she is trying to get ready for work. Mine is the one that lives under the sink because she banished it. Hers is whatever is still full because I keep "accidentally" using it and leaving the bottle wet and sideways.

If any of you run this study at home, report back. I need replication. Also bring your own towel next time. She was very clear about that.