> You wont believe how large and girthy this midget's penis is (pic)

Pervert! why would you click on this?

No seriously. You saw that thread title and some part of your brain went "well now hold on" and your thumb was already moving. You should sit with that. You should go stand outside in the cold for a minute and think about the decisions that got you here. There is no pic. There was never a pic. I made the title up at 6:40 this morning while the coffee was still dripping and I was mad about something else entirely.

Also I would have clicked it too, so whatever. We're the same.

Here is what I actually have been looking at instead of doing anything useful. Ledger, the crypto wallet people, there's a thing going around that the hardware had some kind of spy chip in it and north of 86 million dollars got lifted out of people's wallets. Supposedly. I have no crypto because I am a coward and also because I lost the password to a Coinbase account in like 2017 with maybe forty bucks in it, so I was spared by stupidity. But think about the guy who bought the little metal brick specifically so he wouldn't get robbed and then got robbed through the brick.

Then Tom Cruise made a movie called Digger and it lost 245 million dollars. I didn't know it existed until it was already a corpse. That's the part that gets me. I didn't see a single ad. A quarter billion dollars evaporated and I was not consulted.

Hegseth out there saying "No Beardos, No Weirdos" like he's naming a bar band. Feds supposedly raiding Ilhan Omar's house. Keffe D got 40 years for the Tupac thing, which happened in 1996 and now it's a sentencing. Houthis hit Aramco. Kimberly Guilfoyle got canned as ambassador to Greece, which is a sentence I had to read three times because every single word in it is a surprise.

Getty is going bankrupt. The stock photo people. Because the machines make the pictures now and nobody needs to license a photo of a smiling woman eating a salad. Which, fine, but then in the same scroll Character.ai is also going bankrupt, and Broadcom's guy Hock Tan is out there calling it a casino and talking about the hangover, and the Nasdaq is bleeding, and one of the OpenAI guys apparently bugged his own bosses' conference room. Just put a listening device in the room where his bosses talk. And Anthropic is putting out warnings about stuff that copies itself. Everybody involved in this is either warning you about it or selling it to you and usually both on the same day.

Meanwhile Big Tech won't pay for the power grid they're draining. That one I take personally because my bill went up and nobody sent me a letter explaining it.

Kroger cutting 3,000 jobs and shipping the work to India. And then the other post I saw, that universities are basically training kids to offshore the jobs their own classmates are going to need. I don't know if that's true true or just true-sounding. A lot of what I read is true-sounding.

A teacher posted a video crying because 1 out of 34 kids passed. One. Out of thirty four. And then there's Belgian kids doing a trend where they just go into stores and smash everything, and hackers in Europe getting into supermarket systems and shutting off the ice cream freezers. Not stealing anything. Just letting the ice cream go soft. That's the one that broke me a little. There is a person out there whose entire contribution to the species was warm ice cream in a Lidl.

Six Flags has a Final Destination coaster now and Six Flags stock is also in the toilet, which feels like a joke somebody already made. Apple's doing HomeView, so now there will be an Apple thing looking at my living room, great. The NYT is apparently trying to take down Sophie Cunningham, a WNBA player, who as far as I can tell is guilty of elbowing people and being funny online. The State Department's anti-trafficking pick got absolutely ratioed into dust. The Fed put out a video actually called "Money From Nothing," which, guys, you have to at least try.

Somebody posted a big long Pfizer side effect list and somebody else posted "imagine if David Icke was right" about the lizard people, and honestly after four hours of this I was at maybe 20 percent on the lizards, which is 20 percent higher than I should be.

Also caffeine is fake energy. Read that somewhere. Then drank three cups.

Anyway. No pic. Never was one. I don't even know a midget.