> Repeated self-insertion of colorectal foreign bodies

A significant childhood memory that stood out for Phil from his upbringing was when his mother would 'look for worms' by periodically checking his anus.

Phil said..."I thought nothing of it and just did as I was told, allowing her to spread my buttocks and expose me in the most vulnerable of ways. If she suspected evidence of pinworms, then she would simply apply coconut-based ointment to her finger before rubbing it in and around my anus."

By adolescence he had developed an emotionally complex set of rituals to relieve his feelings of 'sadness, emptiness, loneliness' that the disconnect from his mother and the intimidation of his father had caused.

The behavior, the rectal insertion of foreign bodies' became a ritual, a way of 'seeking comfort' and 'relieving painful feelings', replacing them with a sense of 'being filled up' before always ending in feelings of more pain, shame, punishment and anxiety.

Later, as an adult and married, Phil said he introduced his wife to his auto-erotic behavior - and she was willing to join in and explore 'his' anal play.

As her participation grew, so did Phil's desire to do more. Ultimately she engaged so much in his behavior that there were 'minimal boundaries' left to her participation and she would readily initiate or otherwise comply with 'anally fisting', 'anally inserting foreign bodies' or do other demeaning acts (eg golden showers) to Phil as he attempted to replicate the need for anal attachment with his mother, and discipline and punishment from his father.