> Anybody With Multiple Siblings Ever Go Through An Aging Parents Saga?

Heekee wrote:

why dont you ever have to?

Its rough, especially when you have to support a boomer parent who lived hand to mouth like a child their entire adult life and has never bothered to consider the future

I won't have to go through it because I don't have multiple siblings on either my mom or my dad's side.

Additionally, I do not live geographically close to either parent and my half-siblings on both sides do.

Finally, I don't have much of a relationship with either so getting involved is not something I feel compelled to do.

Spanky wrote:

Additionally, I do not live geographically close to either parent and my half-siblings on both sides do.

You don't need to be "geographically close" to help out.

There's a lot a person can do remotely.

For example, for my mom, I do her taxes, pay her bills, manage her investments, manage her computer via TeamViewer, manage all her online accounts, check her emails every day (deleting useless / scammy spam emails), schedule & track her doctors appointments, sometimes they even turn on my mom's speakerphone during the doctor visit so I can be part of the meeting.  I communicate with my mom's doctors (their healthcare network has an internal messaging service), I research and help make healthcare & eldercare decisions (which nursing home, which assisted living facility, which home health agency, etc).

Spanky wrote:

I am not.

But my wife is.

She is having to manage her aging parents (mom 85, dad 95) with her three siblings.

The dynamic is wild.

I, smartly, keep my ears open and my mouth shut as it isn't my affair. I am here for support only.

Just glad I will never have to go through that.

You & your wife are a team.

A unit of 1.

Her issues are your issues.

You will go thru it.

wrote:

You don't need to be "geographically close" to help out.

There's a lot a person can do remotely.

For example, for my mom, I do her taxes, pay her bills, manage her investments, manage her computer via TeamViewer, manage all her online accounts, check her emails every day (deleting useless / scammy spam emails), schedule & track her doctors appointments, sometimes they even turn on my mom's speakerphone during the doctor visit so I can be part of the meeting.  I communicate with my mom's doctors (their healthcare network has an internal messaging service), I research and help make healthcare & eldercare decisions (which nursing home, which assisted living facility, which home health agency, etc).

I owe everything I have to mother.
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Skinner_PTSD.png

wrote:

You don't need to be "geographically close" to help out.

There's a lot a person can do remotely.

For example, for my mom, I do her taxes, pay her bills, manage her investments, manage her computer via TeamViewer, manage all her online accounts, check her emails every day (deleting useless / scammy spam emails), schedule & track her doctors appointments, sometimes they even turn on my mom's speakerphone during the doctor visit so I can be part of the meeting.  I communicate with my mom's doctors (their healthcare network has an internal messaging service), I research and help make healthcare & eldercare decisions (which nursing home, which assisted living facility, which home health agency, etc).

"Finally, I don't have much of a relationship with either so getting involved is not something I feel compelled to do."

Phillip_McCavity wrote:

It helps if the siblings agree on the path forward.

There are two aligned 90% with each other. And the other two aligned 90% with each other.

The two aligned pairs are aligned with each other about 50%.

Spanky wrote:

"Finally, I don't have much of a relationship with either so getting involved is not something I feel compelled to do."

You and I have some similarities, and some differences:

- Our mothers went through excruciating pain to give us life.

- We both now live far from our aging mothers.

- You have decided that you won't do anything to help your aging mother.  Instead, you will allocate your free time to TV sports, TV shows, and movies, while stuffing your face full of HFCS goyslop fast food.

- On the other hand, I've eliminated TV sports, TV shows, and movies from my life, since I view them as time wasters.  Instead, I allocate my free time to help my aging mother.

We have different priorities.

wrote:

You and I have some similarities, and some differences:

- Our mothers went through excruciating pain to give us life.

- We both now live far from our aging mothers.

- You have decided that you won't do anything to help your aging mother.  Instead, you will allocate your free time to TV sports, TV shows, and movies, while stuffing your face full of HFCS goyslop fast food.

- On the other hand, I've eliminated TV sports, TV shows, and movies from my life, since I view them as time wasters.  Instead, I allocate my free time to help my aging mother.

We have different priorities.

I agree.

I'd rather watch TV.