> Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Has this become a quiet new-normal to skirt the issue, delay, cremate and in a couple of years kinda half ass spread the ashes somewhere with just a few people who aren’t phony annoying pieces of shyt? 

Did Covid make it OK to avoid funerals? Nobody is really religious anymore, nobody likes dressing up for events and their suits don’t fit, to look at creepy dead bodies or go to grave sites with ugly flowers, with politics fracturing families, bad chicken dinners, everybody on their iPhones, families don’t enjoy it at all and getting these services paid for from the deceased estate is another pain in the ass because the deceased’s funds aren’t readily available anyway. 

By stating arrangements TBD or are private or will be announced at a later date, is the family off the hook pretty much? It’s enough fuqing work already with paperwork & lawyers & banks, settling accounts, cleaning up & selling shyt nobody wants, while still trying to run a hectic life without also putting on a show too? 

Ashes in a nice urn, a couple years later a peaceful spreading ashes in a garden or lake or ocean, a few pics & nice statement in memory about how it was the deceased favorite forest or garden or bullshyt, everybody wishing well and sending phony thoughts & prayers on instagram, no tombstone or dead corpse etc? 

EVEN IF the person was sort of liked & social, not just for the weirdo shut-ins.

I told my kin that money is for the living.  If they want a funeral... of sorts - take me out to the desert with a case of dynamite and a case of booze and blow me up after the booze was consumed.

I had to do both parents funerals at a fairly young age, was already traumatized and trying to handle 10 other life things, could have really used the time as a quiet don’t-fuq-with-me laid back time to focus while grieving, without putting on a show for relatives & friends who don’t really help, say phony things and  anyway? 

I did attend a zoom service during COVID, awkward & quasi religious, maybe 9 people showed up, did nothing for anybody. Then they did the wait 2 years/ dump the urn on a mountain, take a pic for Facebook of a sunset and done.

In my family, we state in our wills that there will be no funeral.

Body will be cremated, and the ashes will be spread at a beach, park, or somewhere peaceful.

We send out a mass email to friends & relatives, gather people's comments, and post them on a webpage (one of our personal websites, that we control).

Yup. my fambly is mostly sane people, and it would be nice to have a gathering and see some relatives you haven't in a while, but....

These days- post-COVID, post-decency, post-shame- there's always one or two GROWN ASS ADULTS who start openly asking about how much money they are getting, or start crying because a trinket they inherit isn't worth as much as a trinket somebody else inherits, or demand somebody else pay for airfare/lodging/food because they live in paycheck-to-paycheck poverty otherwise they'd lose their Medicaid gimmedats...

 wrote:I told my kin that money is for the living.  If they want a funeral... of sorts - take me out to the desert with a case of dynamite and a case of booze and blow me up after the booze was consumed.

I’ve never seen anyone actively want a funeral, and they are dead already. For my parents it was expected I guess, it felt like planning a fuqing wedding in the middle of chaos. Had to auto pilot through the program more exhausted than ever. Attendees just pissed me off & I needed to get shyt done. Some peers came to tell me their parents were still alive & blah blah blah it was a tragedy, had to walk away before punching them in the face.

 wrote:I’ve never seen anyone actively want a funeral, and they are dead already. For my parents it was expected I guess, it felt like planning a fuqing wedding in the middle of chaos. Had to auto pilot through the program more exhausted than ever. Attendees just pissed me off & I needed to get shyt done. Some peers came to tell me their parents were still alive & blah blah blah it was a tragedy, had to walk away before punching them in the face.
There's an entire ecosystem that preys on you at that time.

Fuq, nobody even remembers where their ancient postage stamps are, to send a cheesy Hallmark condolence card that for some reason now costs $7.99 at WaWa. To try to send when nobody has snail mail addresses written down and the most contact they might have is being a Facebook fake friend giving likes or  or 

Fuq flowers; all the local mom & pop florists have closed. Reduced to ordering online from Ohio without knowing where to send, where even the cheapo option of some daisies costs $75 before delivery & fees & tips?

They always say funerals are good for the living to seek peace & closure and feel better, bull fuqing shyt. I wanted to be left alone.

 wrote:Fuq flowers; all the local mom & pop florists have closed. Reduced to ordering online from Ohio without knowing where to send, where even the cheapo option of some daisies costs $75 before delivery & fees & tips?
If people buy flowers at all today it’s at the grocery store for $12.95 while picking up their macaroni and cheese. But grocery store flowers aren’t good enough, the industry wants $125 FTD stinky chemical bullshyt delivered in a van.

Now 25-35 years later those same peers are having their parents die of old age, it’s about time they are fossils, I’m over it, nothing to be sad about old age is no picnic. I had to get over parent death 25-35 years ago I’m done.

 wrote:I told my kin that money is for the living.  If they want a funeral... of sorts - take me out to the desert with a case of dynamite and a case of booze and blow me up after the booze was consumed.

Too loud & messy. Just dump the ashes & go. They likely aren’t accurate ashes anyway, just Smith concrete mix you paid $1500 for not including urn.

 

Bitter fc loosers who know no one will show up.

 wrote: 

Bitter fc loosers who know no one will show up.
The average attendance at a funeral nowadays is 30-100 people... except when a cop (overtime) is involved.

 wrote:I told my kin that money is for the living.  If they want a funeral... of sorts - take me out to the desert with a case of dynamite and a case of booze and blow me up after the booze was consumed.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Gram_Parsons

Parsons spent time in the desert during the day and at local bars at night, consuming barbiturates and alcohol every day. On September 18, after being injected with morphine, Parsons overdosed. On September 19, he was declared dead on arrival at the hospital.

Following Parsons' death and in order to fulfill his desires, Kaufman and Martin arrived at Los Angeles International Airport in Martin's personal Cadillac Hearse impersonating mortuary workers. Under the impression that the pair had been hired by the Parsons family, Western Airlines released the body to them. They then took it to Joshua Tree and set it on fire. The burning casket was reported by campers to the local authorities, who investigated the incident and identified both perpetrators.

Parsons' body was partially cremated. His charred remains were recovered and returned to his family. Meanwhile, Kaufman and Martin were accused of grand theft and fined for burning the casket, while they also had to pay for Parsons' funeral.

 wrote:Too loud & messy. Just dump the ashes & go. They likely aren’t accurate ashes anyway, just Smith concrete mix you paid $1500 for not including urn.
We got my dad's ashes for free, in a plastic box.

 wrote:I told my kin that money is for the living.  If they want a funeral... of sorts - take me out to the desert with a case of dynamite and a case of booze and blow me up after the booze was consumed.

A quality post.

Of course it is fine. 

One of the great victories of liberalism and the expansion of the neutral state is that you can safely ignore tradition with limited to no personal risk. 

Be yourself. Not who others expect you to be.

Are sweatpance™ (if they're fancy) acceptable at a funeral? 

., wrote:Are sweatpance™ (if they're fancy) acceptable at a funeral? 
Of course. They work for weddings as well. 

I have not worn dress slax since 2004.

Funerals are there to help the community heal. If the person has a strong tie to some community, then you should hold it. 

If nobody liked them anyway, who cares.

If anyone holds a funeral for me, then I'm going.

Phillip_McCavity wrote:Funerals are there to help the community heal.
Fake and gay.

Some of the time this really means that they don't have the funds to do anything.  They could be waiting to collect donations or waiting for insurance money.

In your white-trash family, sure.

> Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

wrote:

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

wrote:

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

wrote:

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

wrote:

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

wrote:

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

wrote:

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

wrote:

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

wrote:

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

., wrote:

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Phillip_McCavity wrote:

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?

Re: Is it more or less acceptable in these times when someone dies in your family to say “arrangements TBD” then just avoid a funeral service?