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SpankyWhiskers Hollow Cat Refuge
147 W. Main Steet
Pecan Gap, TX 75469
Dear Esteemed Cat Shelter Beneficiaries,
Enclosed please find my generous donation of Five and 00/100 United States Dollars (US $5.00)—a sum I am certain will dramatically alter the trajectory of your entire organization. I know it may feel overwhelming to suddenly be the recipient of such largesse, but do not worry; I have a strong history of benevolence and can guide you through the transformative impact this will bring.
You see, I understand hard work and sacrifice. When my father’s estate eventually came to me, I felt a responsibility to honor the millions he had built by striking out on my own. That’s why I took the bold step of investing $500 to start my own business. It was never about the size of the venture—success comes in many forms, after all—but about proving I had the same entrepreneurial fire. And in that same spirit, this $5 check is my way of carrying forward that legacy of determination.
As a proud former member of a Neighborhood Emergency Response Team—before my unfortunate removal for “improper radio discipline”—I have lived the ethos of first responders. Some say I merely attended a few drills and barked into a walkie-talkie until people asked me to leave, but I know in my heart I saved lives. In many ways, this five-dollar check is like running into a burning building and carrying out a basket of kittens. Heroism wears many forms.
You may have heard of my ventures: my nationally unknown but personally beloved BBQ sauce business, or my vacation rental in Lake Tahoe, which I assure you is every bit as charming as the brochures suggest, even if Yelp reviewers disagree. These humble accomplishments speak to my character.
Philanthropy has always been my calling. You are but the latest in a long line of worthy recipients—recipients who range from Turkish cats (I’ve spent thousands flying them in crates to Boise) to a variety of organizations that I’m sure were deeply moved by my generous support. Some people ask why I spend so much on foreign cats instead of helping locally, but I say: what is local, really, in this global world? Besides, Boise cats can fend for themselves.
And I must note: I firmly believe in personal responsibility. That is why I oppose SNAP benefits being used for luxuries like ice cream, even though Medicare had to cover my own costly surgeries brought on by my decades-long smoking habit. We all have to draw the line somewhere.
In closing, please steward these funds wisely. Stretch them as best you can. With five dollars, surely you can purchase at least part of a bag of generic kibble, or perhaps a discount toy mouse. Imagine the impact: a single cat entertained for a fleeting moment, thanks entirely to me.
Do keep me in your thoughts as you marvel at my generosity. And if you’d like, I can send brochures for my BBQ sauce or details on booking my Lake Tahoe rental. Think of it as cross-promotion; everyone wins.
Warmest regards,
Tom Leykis
........................................................................
Tom LeykisOh. My. God.
If you ever doubted that our Bartlett Beach Ball was shut-in in some God-Forsaken place, with NOTHING to do all week but make up some slanderous nonsense aimed at someone he doesn't know, will never meet, AND WHO IS NEVER GOING TO TRUST HIM WITH A DOLLAR, YOUR DOUBTS ARE NOW ERASED.
........................................................................
Tom's slanderous nonsenseI laughed. Doubts remain un-erased.
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........................................................................
Heekee
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Diarrhetrius BrownTom Leykis wrote:
Oh. My. God.
If you ever doubted that our Bartlett Beach Ball was shut-in in some God-Forsaken place, with NOTHING to do all week but make up some slanderous nonsense aimed at someone he doesn't know, will never meet, AND WHO IS NEVER GOING TO TRUST HIM WITH A DOLLAR, YOUR DOUBTS ARE NOW ERASED.
I know it was all bullshyt but I had to laugh.
........................................................................
Wait... are we making fun of people who provide charity or the people who are thankful for the charity?
........................................................................
wrote:
Wait... are we making fun of people who provide charity or the people who are thankful for the charity?
Spanky... are we making fun of the givers or the people who are happy to receive?
........................................................................
Spankywrote:
Wait... are we making fun of people who provide charity or the people who are thankful for the charity?
We are making fun of people who brag about their charity.
........................................................................
Why did Spanky choose that particular address?
........................................................................
Tom Leykiswrote:
Why did Spanky choose that particular address?
You know he spent WEEKS cooking this up, so he may have some connection to it....
........................................................................
Spanky wrote:
Whiskers Hollow Cat Refuge
147 W. Main Steet
Pecan Gap, TX 75469
Dear Esteemed Cat Shelter Beneficiaries,
Enclosed please find my generous donation of Five and 00/100 United States Dollars (US $5.00)—a sum I am certain will dramatically alter the trajectory of your entire organization. I know it may feel overwhelming to suddenly be the recipient of such largesse, but do not worry; I have a strong history of benevolence and can guide you through the transformative impact this will bring.
You see, I understand hard work and sacrifice. When my father’s estate eventually came to me, I felt a responsibility to honor the millions he had built by striking out on my own. That’s why I took the bold step of investing $500 to start my own business. It was never about the size of the venture—success comes in many forms, after all—but about proving I had the same entrepreneurial fire. And in that same spirit, this $5 check is my way of carrying forward that legacy of determination.
As a proud former member of a Neighborhood Emergency Response Team—before my unfortunate removal for “improper radio discipline”—I have lived the ethos of first responders. Some say I merely attended a few drills and barked into a walkie-talkie until people asked me to leave, but I know in my heart I saved lives. In many ways, this five-dollar check is like running into a burning building and carrying out a basket of kittens. Heroism wears many forms.
You may have heard of my ventures: my nationally unknown but personally beloved BBQ sauce business, or my vacation rental in Lake Tahoe, which I assure you is every bit as charming as the brochures suggest, even if Yelp reviewers disagree. These humble accomplishments speak to my character.
Philanthropy has always been my calling. You are but the latest in a long line of worthy recipients—recipients who range from Turkish cats (I’ve spent thousands flying them in crates to Boise) to a variety of organizations that I’m sure were deeply moved by my generous support. Some people ask why I spend so much on foreign cats instead of helping locally, but I say: what is local, really, in this global world? Besides, Boise cats can fend for themselves.
And I must note: I firmly believe in personal responsibility. That is why I oppose SNAP benefits being used for luxuries like ice cream, even though Medicare had to cover my own costly surgeries brought on by my decades-long smoking habit. We all have to draw the line somewhere.
In closing, please steward these funds wisely. Stretch them as best you can. With five dollars, surely you can purchase at least part of a bag of generic kibble, or perhaps a discount toy mouse. Imagine the impact: a single cat entertained for a fleeting moment, thanks entirely to me.
Do keep me in your thoughts as you marvel at my generosity. And if you’d like, I can send brochures for my BBQ sauce or details on booking my Lake Tahoe rental. Think of it as cross-promotion; everyone wins.
Warmest regards,
Tom Leykis

........................................................................
Fuqing hilarious
And totally believable too
........................................................................
Tom LeykisSpanky wrote:
We are making fun of people who brag about their charity.
The things Spankie says: "Well, its closer to $1M than it is to $500k so I will count that as "approaching."
Talk about false BRAGGING!!! 
https://www.campidiot.com/viewtopic.php?id=1450490
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SockpuppetTom Leykis wrote:
The things Spankie says: "Well, its closer to $1M than it is to $500k so I will count that as "approaching."
Talk about false BRAGGING!!!
https://www.campidiot.com/viewtopic.php?id=1450490
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Tom imports cats so that local cats can go hungry.
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Samples_Boi........................................................................
Tom's into catsTom's only into cats because his wife loves cats. Once his "Another beautiful day in Boise" days are over - his money is going to all of her pet projects
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In closing, please steward these funds wisely. Stretch them as best you can. With five dollars, surely you can purchase at least part of a bag of generic kibble, or perhaps a discount toy mouse. Imagine the impact: a single cat entertained for a fleeting moment, thanks entirely to me.
Do keep me in your thoughts as you marvel at my generosity. And if you’d like, I can send brochures for my BBQ sauce or details on booking my Lake Tahoe rental. Think of it as cross-promotion; everyone wins.
Warmest regards,
Tom Leykis

........................................................................
Tom Leykis wrote:
Oh. My. God.
If you ever doubted that our Bartlett Beach Ball was shut-in in some God-Forsaken place, with NOTHING to do all week but make up some slanderous nonsense aimed at someone he doesn't know, will never meet, AND WHO IS NEVER GOING TO TRUST HIM WITH A DOLLAR, YOUR DOUBTS ARE NOW ERASED.
$5 Tommy?
You spend much more than that on baby powder for your diaper rash.
........................................................................
Spanky wrote:
We are making fun of people who brag about their charity.
Who's bragging?
It seems you went out of your way to find this and are bragging about.
What the fuq is wrong with you?
........................................................................
Sockpuppetwrote:
Tom imports cats so that local cats can go hungry.
“ Besides, Boise cats can fend for themselves.”
........................................................................
“Hey, are you a local cat?
Well, fuq you!”
\
(Tom)
........................................................................
SockpuppetTom?
........................................................................
SockpuppetWow.
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