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The official twinkie recipe, that I can still remember to this day. Step 1.) Secure an 80,000 lb. truck load of liquid eggs, conveniently created by the plant in the next town. Step 2.) Suck said 80,000 pounds of liquid eggs up into a holding tank, in prep for running through the pasteurizer. Step 3.) Run the pasteurized eggs to the top of a four-story-tall 40\' diameter stainless-steel egg-drier, with a fucking huge gas-fired blower at the bottom that blasts hot air up the cylinder toward the shower-heads at the top that sprayed liquid eggs. Step 4.) Run the powdered eggs into a huge vibrating machine filled with plastic rings that break up any large chunks, and then run the output from that into the mixer. Step 5.) Add 15,000 pounds of sugar. Mix well. Step 6.) Add 1500 pounds of \'magic twinkie mix\', which is what we called it. It was a nameless, ingredient-less bag of \'stuff\' that would make this into twinkies. No one there knew what it was, but it was white, powdery, and smelled pretty bad. Step 7.) Run the final mixture into another machine that blended the powder for a while, as the water and some vegetable oil were intermittently added to the mixture. Step 8.) Mixture gets dumped into molding pans and then goes through a conveyor-feed oven the size of most single-family homes. Step 9.) Baked twinkies are injected with \'cream filling\', which was actually just crisco mixed with sugar and titanium dioxide (paint whitener) Step 10.) Machine removes them from their pans, bags them, and boxes them while one semi-retarded (seriously, he was a mongoloid) watches to make sure shit works OK. Done.

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